is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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