Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
