I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
