break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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