on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
