Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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