I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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