i don't like sucking hair
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize