...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
