what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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