its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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