White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
