Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize