I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
