Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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