This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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