I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
