Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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