Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
