When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize