you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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