Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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