he puts the penis in happiness.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
