So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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