My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
