why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
