How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize