Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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