He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize