he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am available for nakedness
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
