then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
