Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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