dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
