Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
