The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
