I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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