I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
