I think im going to throw up on grandma
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
