Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
