I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
