can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
