By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
