I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
