I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My vagina is officially offended.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
