lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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