gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
