Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just pee around me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
