i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize