I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
