Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
