i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
