Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
