had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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