do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize