is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
