I only kidnapped one of them. chill
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
