I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
