Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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