i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
