hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize